I watched Cloud Atlas today.
I loved the movie and there are so many things that you can take from it. It's on the idea of karma and it somehow takes 6 different stories and combines them into a single composition.
It really was a great movie and I really can't describe how it felt to me.
But here are some of my favorite quotes:
"All boundaries are conventions, waiting to be transcended. One may
transcend any convention, if only one can first conceive of doing so.
Moments like this, I can feel your heart beating as clearly as I feel my
own, and I know that separation is an illusion. My life extends far
beyond the limitations of me."
"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others.
Past and present. And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our
future."
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Letter #14
Confession.
To me it's really sad to see the word abused as negative. I think that the most common form of confession nowadays is criminals confessing to their crimes.
It's really sad.
Confession to me has a more pure meaning. Confession is the way we expose our souls to each other. Sinners confessing to priests, revealing their sins willingly and asking for forgiveness. Unrequited loves confessing their feelings for each other knowing the risk they take in exposing so much of themselves.
For the first time in my life I confessed to a girl that I like her on 10/4/12.
For the first time in my life I was rejected by a girl.
This is what I wrote the following couple days:
The first attempt at a connection with someone.
I guess I really expected, wanted, and wished that it would work out you know?
I thought I worked all my life trying to become a better person so that someday someone can love me the way that I want to love them.
I worked out. I started to play the ukulele. I started socializing more. Drank more. Haha.
But I guess I’m still a baby in this relationship world.
I want to tell my friend the pains that I have experienced that I have never told anyone.
Which I guess is one of the biggest causes of my fear of abandonment.
Yesterday I confessed and revealed a little bit of my insecurities.
Looking back on it now I really have changed from this event. After the first real confession I had, I started being more true to myself and spoke what was on my mind.
I started to talk, really talk with my parents about our family relationship. Like most families, our family would have a fight and just not talk about it. All the problems and emotions were piling up and I've really started to talk out and mend our frayed relationships.
I started to tell my friends some of my secrets a little by little.
I really have started to change with my confession so I really urge everyone to get that thing off your chest by confessing, by revealing yourself to others and start changing.
I think this is appropriate for today:
"“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mohandas Gandhi
To me it's really sad to see the word abused as negative. I think that the most common form of confession nowadays is criminals confessing to their crimes.
It's really sad.
Confession to me has a more pure meaning. Confession is the way we expose our souls to each other. Sinners confessing to priests, revealing their sins willingly and asking for forgiveness. Unrequited loves confessing their feelings for each other knowing the risk they take in exposing so much of themselves.
For the first time in my life I confessed to a girl that I like her on 10/4/12.
For the first time in my life I was rejected by a girl.
This is what I wrote the following couple days:
"Yesterday I confessed to a girl.
I do like her and I guess she didn’t.
It was really weird for me because that was my first confession.
I do like her and I guess she didn’t.
It was really weird for me because that was my first confession.
The first attempt at a connection with someone.
I guess I really expected, wanted, and wished that it would work out you know?
I thought I worked all my life trying to become a better person so that someday someone can love me the way that I want to love them.
I worked out. I started to play the ukulele. I started socializing more. Drank more. Haha.
But I guess I’m still a baby in this relationship world.
My
defense mechanism makes me be so selfish that I want to know everything
about other people and share nothing of myself so that I will not be
hurt and I have the upper hand.
I finally realize that. I’ve been so selfish and I need to start giving myself to others fully.
I want to tell my friend the pains that I have experienced that I have never told anyone.
Which I guess is one of the biggest causes of my fear of abandonment.
Yesterday I confessed and revealed a little bit of my insecurities.
I am changing.
For better or for worse I am changing.
For better or for worse I am changing.
Update: 10/6/12:
I watched an episode of How I met Your Mother that defined Lebenslangerschickalsschatz. It is true love and the One. The words that were spoken really told me that she was not my Lebenslangerschickalsschatz.
I had to think about it, she had to think about it.
It was not like the water of the river after a storm. I was not filled with thoughts of her nor being emptied by the prospect of losing her.
I think that because she was the one that I spent time with and liked deceived me into thinking she was my Lebenslangerschickalsschatz. I’m so desperate to find Lebenslangerschickalsschatz that I rush into things.
Now that I have destroyed that image of that “crush” by confessing I feel a bit lighter.
Don’t get me wrong. I feel despair and pain that makes me feel like I will never be loved and die alone. The grip in my heart that I have felt when I think of death and abandonment.
But by starting into this abyss I come to understand it a little better and be enlightened by its destruction.
Update: 10/7/12:
I’m actually grateful for this event.
I’m actually happier and feel better now.
It still sucks that she said she didn’t feel the same way but I think I still came out for the better.
For my entire life I went along not confessing because of all the ifs, coulds, and the entire mystery and anxiousness that comes with it. But now that I was rejected the whole thing became so much simpler now.
It boils down to asking and getting a yes or no answer.
It’s as simple as that. Sure there are some variables and some factors that go into it but it really boils down to a 50/50."
I watched an episode of How I met Your Mother that defined Lebenslangerschickalsschatz. It is true love and the One. The words that were spoken really told me that she was not my Lebenslangerschickalsschatz.
I had to think about it, she had to think about it.
It was not like the water of the river after a storm. I was not filled with thoughts of her nor being emptied by the prospect of losing her.
I think that because she was the one that I spent time with and liked deceived me into thinking she was my Lebenslangerschickalsschatz. I’m so desperate to find Lebenslangerschickalsschatz that I rush into things.
Now that I have destroyed that image of that “crush” by confessing I feel a bit lighter.
Don’t get me wrong. I feel despair and pain that makes me feel like I will never be loved and die alone. The grip in my heart that I have felt when I think of death and abandonment.
But by starting into this abyss I come to understand it a little better and be enlightened by its destruction.
Update: 10/7/12:
I’m actually grateful for this event.
I’m actually happier and feel better now.
It still sucks that she said she didn’t feel the same way but I think I still came out for the better.
For my entire life I went along not confessing because of all the ifs, coulds, and the entire mystery and anxiousness that comes with it. But now that I was rejected the whole thing became so much simpler now.
It boils down to asking and getting a yes or no answer.
It’s as simple as that. Sure there are some variables and some factors that go into it but it really boils down to a 50/50."
Looking back on it now I really have changed from this event. After the first real confession I had, I started being more true to myself and spoke what was on my mind.
I started to talk, really talk with my parents about our family relationship. Like most families, our family would have a fight and just not talk about it. All the problems and emotions were piling up and I've really started to talk out and mend our frayed relationships.
I started to tell my friends some of my secrets a little by little.
I really have started to change with my confession so I really urge everyone to get that thing off your chest by confessing, by revealing yourself to others and start changing.
I think this is appropriate for today:
"“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mohandas Gandhi
Again
Restarting the posts.
I haven't kept up with this blog for a long time and I am sorry. I'm always jumping into new projects and interesting things that it's hard to stick with something for a long time. It's one of my problems and it definitely shows in the blog.
Some things I want to address though:
To Marshall:
I'm truly sorry for the late reply.
I really didn't know that my blog, which I started out because I felt like I was so alone, would actually be read by other people and even more would affect them. Honestly, I thought that this was going to be a sort of online journal that I'd keep to myself that I would perhaps show the person I'll love eventually or keep it as an embarrassing secret.
Unfortunately, I still haven't found the right one yet but I will endure and start the posts once again. There are some new developments that I would like to write on.
I'm really thankful for your reply and I will start it up again
I haven't kept up with this blog for a long time and I am sorry. I'm always jumping into new projects and interesting things that it's hard to stick with something for a long time. It's one of my problems and it definitely shows in the blog.
Some things I want to address though:
To Marshall:
I'm truly sorry for the late reply.
I really didn't know that my blog, which I started out because I felt like I was so alone, would actually be read by other people and even more would affect them. Honestly, I thought that this was going to be a sort of online journal that I'd keep to myself that I would perhaps show the person I'll love eventually or keep it as an embarrassing secret.
Unfortunately, I still haven't found the right one yet but I will endure and start the posts once again. There are some new developments that I would like to write on.
I'm really thankful for your reply and I will start it up again
Friday, April 13, 2012
Letter #13
It's Friday the 13th and I don't believe in the whole superstition. It's almost time to present my presidential nomination speech and I think it's going well. I hope I win so that I can know many more people and experience what it's like to be a club president. I'm hoping that the new responsibilities will allow me to grow in to a better person. That's my ultimate goal in life: to be the most interesting man on earth.
This seems appropriate today:
"To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed." - Valerie Lombardo
It's Friday the 13th and I don't believe in the whole superstition. It's almost time to present my presidential nomination speech and I think it's going well. I hope I win so that I can know many more people and experience what it's like to be a club president. I'm hoping that the new responsibilities will allow me to grow in to a better person. That's my ultimate goal in life: to be the most interesting man on earth.
This seems appropriate today:
"To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed." - Valerie Lombardo
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Letter #12
I'm sorry for missing the last two posts. But let's get right down to it.
I have applied to be an TA as well as a president of a club I'm in. As Michelangelo said,
"The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark."
I am aiming high so that I will be able to reach out to as many people as I can and meet you. I don't know when I'll see you but I will make my club and my life the best I can to be worthy.
This is a quote I feel is appropriate today:
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."
-Aristotle
I'm sorry for missing the last two posts. But let's get right down to it.
I have applied to be an TA as well as a president of a club I'm in. As Michelangelo said,
"The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark."
I am aiming high so that I will be able to reach out to as many people as I can and meet you. I don't know when I'll see you but I will make my club and my life the best I can to be worthy.
This is a quote I feel is appropriate today:
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."
-Aristotle
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Letter #11:
I applied to be the president of one of my clubs. I was thinking about doing it but i wasn't really sure if I should. Interestingly enough many of my seniors told me that I should try running for it anyway. This reminds me of a quote by George S. Patton:
"A man must know his destiny. If a man does not recognize his destiny then he is lost. By this I mean once, twice, at the very most three times fate will tap the man on the shoulder. If he as the imagination then he will turn around and fate will point out which fork in the road to take. If he has the guts he will take it."
I hope that I will know when you tap me on the shoulder and turn around and I hope that I will have the guts to be with you.
I applied to be the president of one of my clubs. I was thinking about doing it but i wasn't really sure if I should. Interestingly enough many of my seniors told me that I should try running for it anyway. This reminds me of a quote by George S. Patton:
"A man must know his destiny. If a man does not recognize his destiny then he is lost. By this I mean once, twice, at the very most three times fate will tap the man on the shoulder. If he as the imagination then he will turn around and fate will point out which fork in the road to take. If he has the guts he will take it."
I hope that I will know when you tap me on the shoulder and turn around and I hope that I will have the guts to be with you.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Letter #10:
I heard of this "GPS" guide by Hoan Do and I wanted to start on it. For me my GPS would be:
Goal: You
Purpose: Because You are the one that makes the world beautiful.
Strategy: Everything and Anything
That is the summary of my GPS for you and this blog.
This is the quote appropriate today:
"When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far, and no one can ever tear them apart." -Anon.
I heard of this "GPS" guide by Hoan Do and I wanted to start on it. For me my GPS would be:
Goal: You
Purpose: Because You are the one that makes the world beautiful.
Strategy: Everything and Anything
That is the summary of my GPS for you and this blog.
This is the quote appropriate today:
"When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far, and no one can ever tear them apart." -Anon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)